It has been quite a long time since I last blogged, almost a year to be exact. It is hard to believe that it has been a year since I moved away from home. A lot has happened in that year. I've met some amazing people, explored the beauty that Oregon has to offer, worked several different jobs, gone to Haiti.... but I've also been through some very frustrating health struggles.
side note: My intention is not for this post or the following posts of this journey to be a place to complain. My hope is that it can be a place not only for me to process, but also for others to be in the know. It is often very hard to explain what is going on and although at times I feel like no one cares, I know that there are people that do. My other hope is that in the slight chance that someone reads this, that they might know a friend of a friend or know that their mother's neighbor's friend's cousin went through the exact same thing. I pray that some connections can be made because in the world of health struggles, it is really hard to go at it alone, to feel like no one understands, to keep your head above the water.
And that is exactly how I've felt for the past year. Besides two good friends from Arizona that are in Portland with me, I've felt pretty alone. I know that there are plenty of people back home who I could text//call//email//skype//face time, but it is just not the same as having someone in the flesh that understands and supports you. I've struggled with health problems for such a long time that often people have no knowledge of my health struggles because a) I hide it well b) I don't share or c) I've become so used to not feeling well that I've developed a new "normal" for my life. But I've gotten to the point where I am tired of pretending or putting on a front, I'm tired of not being open and honest, I'm tired of going at it alone. I've reached the point where I want to be completely open and communicate my health struggles with people in my life. I'm ready to fight back and stop allowing my health to overtake my jobs, relationships, activities, etc. I'm ready to start a new journey.
I'm so happy you will be blogging your health issues! Sometimes it just feels good to get it out through writing. The thing is, not many people understand what we go through. They assume since we look "okay" on the outside, that we are feeling fine on the inside... but on the inside, we feel physically sick. And this physical sickness leads to a dramatic decrease in energy and a whole lot of emotional problems. Its almost like a zombie spell. With positive thinking and the help from caring friends and family, we will find a way to get through this. It is a time to kick out all the insensitive people who only delay our healing process. I love you KP and we will get through this together. Let's be roommates.
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